Last night you had kebab, not just any kebab, you chose the extra-large mixed kebab, with three pittas- there is a clue there, in theory to share with your wife, (but she didn’t eat much). Today you have been awake since 5am feeling bloated, nauseous and sweaty. You started going to the toilet at about 7am, wanting to rid your body of the bloated sick feeling. But now at 11am having been to the loo more than 10 times, you are in pain, your bottom is sore and bleeding, you still feel sick and bloated and in pain. If you are lucky this will ease around 1pm and you will start to feel better.
Why does this happen? Well in simple terms you have a bad relationship with food that started at secondary school around 12 years old, when you would spend lunch money on ice cream, secretly make sandwiches to take to school and beg for food from friends. From there your bad relationship with food has developed.
Continue reading “Binge Eating A Letter to Myself”
I have been eating rubbish food all weekend. Last night I ate an extra large mixed chicken and Donna kebab and minstrels and chocolate and Pepsi Max and biscuits, having had porridge for breakfast and poached eggs for lunch
This morning: I feel ill:
- I feel nauseous
- As if a heavy weight is on my stomach and chest,
- My throat is dry – dehydrated from all he grease & fat
- I feel greasy / dirty,
- I feel lethargic,
- I have no enthusiasm to get up,
- i am m cross with myself I am the berating myself.
- I feel pain in lower underside on the left of my stomach my chest is tight
- I’m having difficulty breathing.
- I am low and down
- My bowels feel loose, unsafe….
I am very overweight and have been for most of my life.
I have been lucky to be able to access some eating disorder counselling, as my current Mind counsellor is training at National Centre of Eating Disorders
We have completed a Weight Life Chart, where we have looked at key events over my life and how they relate to my weight. I can see that food has played a big part in my life and clearly I use it to try and improve my mood and cope by binge eating bad food at the end of the day. Food has signified good times for me during my life.
Continue reading “Food and My Anxiety”