Binge Eating A Letter to Myself

Last night you had kebab, not just any kebab, you chose the extra-large mixed kebab, with three pittas- there is a clue there, in theory to share with your wife, (but she didn’t eat much). Today you have been awake since 5am feeling bloated, nauseous and sweaty. You started going to the toilet at about 7am, wanting to rid your body of the bloated sick feeling. But now at 11am having been to the loo more than 10 times, you are in pain, your bottom is sore and bleeding, you still feel sick and bloated and in pain. If you are lucky this will ease around 1pm and you will start to feel better.

Why does this happen? Well in simple terms you have a bad relationship with food that started at secondary school around 12 years old, when you would spend lunch money on ice cream, secretly make sandwiches to take to school and beg for food from friends. From there your bad relationship with food has developed.

You started a course with your Mind Counsellor on eating, but that came to an end rather abruptly.

When you eat, it releases endorphins, the more sugary or fatty the food the more endorphins are released that make you feel happy. In addition you use eating as a reward when you have completed your day’s tasks; that reward all too often develops in to a binge. And these binges can be planned, i.e. when you are food shopping, you will add a multi pack of snickers and bag of nuts and crisps and pastries and biscuits and then 2L Pepsi max to the trolley, all too aware that you will probably eat the lot.

The problems with your bowels and not be able to go out in the morning are linked to this, if you have eaten a lot of food you are going to have to pass a lot of waste.

Over eating will also contribute to your mental health wellbeing and especially anxiety and depression, also as said it directly links to your bowel issues (IBS & IBD)

You need help! You know you are overweight, you know you binge eat to seek happiness, you know it has been going on for most of your lifetime – nearly 40 years.

Your weak ankle, weight, self-esteem, anxiety, depression, joints, IBS, Liver Cirrhosis (perhaps IBD) are all impacted by eating excessively- is that what counsellor was trying to tell you?

You did learn from counselling that you should try to

  • Eat regularly during the whole day, especially breakfast
  • It is not about weight loss
  • Find other things you like doing
  • Focus on how you feel in the morning physically and mentally when you have NOT over eaten
  • Think about quantity and plan meals
  • Drink lots of water
  • Avoid buying ‘treats’

You found a useful website on eating disorders: Beat Eating Disorders and there is specific help on Binge Eating Disorder

You have also found this book: Overcoming Binge Eating by Christopher G Fairburn which should be at your local library or you can buy Overcoming Binge Eating on Amazon

My Anxiety

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