MyAnxiety
#PurpleFriday (7 December 2018) will see the world Going Purple in aid of Crohn’s & Colitis UK.
Go Purple at work, school, university or in the gym – wherever you can! Invite your colleagues, your friends or family to be involved – get them to Go Purple for Crohn’s & Colitis UK.
As you know from previous blog posts I have Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) in the form of Ulcerative Colitis, to be specific I have Ulcerative Proctitis which effects the rectum area, rather than the whole bowel. Crohns and Colitis website has an excellent explanation of Ulcerative Colitis here
I am under the care of Kettering General Hospital who have their own team of IBD Nurses, so I see a nurse every 12 months, with the option to contact them at any time if I have any concerns about my Ulcerative Colitis. I then see the Consultant every twelve months about my IBD and he also keeps on eye on my liver condition, so I see someone every 6 months. I also have a blood test every 6 months, which I do a couple of weeks prior to my appointment.
I had been receiving DLA and then PIP for the past 5 years or so, because of my mental health and Ulcerative Colitis. Following a mid award review which started in August 2017 and a medical assessment by Capita in November 2017, my PIP award ended on the 11th December 2017.
I have been reflecting on this a lot over the past 6 months. Financially the impact was significant, as it meant I also lost my Tax Credits award from the 11th December, and any day I expect a bill for £500 over payment following the year end tax credit review.
I have been lucky and been able to earn a little more money through the work I do and been helped by family.
Crohn’s and Colitis week is happening now: 1st to 7th December 2017, being promoted by wonderful charity Crohn’s & Colitis UK, to raise awareness of Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD), with a focus on it being a hidden illness or disability. The charity has done some fantastic work with supermarkets nationally getting signage added or changed to disabled toilets to get the message out that not every disability is visible – so that Ulcerative Colitis sufferers like me, don’t have to worry about being challenged for using disabled toilets when we need to – because we ‘look ok’.
I used the opportunity of not being able to sleep last night, to consider what helps me live with my Generalised Anxiety and Ulcerative Colitis conditions.
So here is my menu of options in no particular order that help me:
Early in August I received a Personal Independence Payment (PIP) Review form dated the 6th August 2017, which is called a ‘PIP Award Review – How your disability affects you’. This came as a surprise (shock) because my PIP award is to August 2018. I have felt anxious and overwhelmed by the prospect of completing the form and the implications of the review: will it change my PIP Award, which could then effect my Tax Credits award (which I now claim as I work part time at home on a self-employed basis).
I blogged about my ‘dream’ job a few weeks ago – ‘The Next Step 2017‘ and applied for the job that weekend.
I have learnt a lot about myself and my anxiety in the following days and weeks. So here is what happened and my reflections after the event.
[I have used this image, as it sums up how the phone ringing does affect me and my anxiety – acknowledgement #CollegeHumour]
Having applied for the job with some enthusiasm I started to think about the reality of the job and I suppose my anxiety kicked in. I started considering the work environment and how I would manage my anxiety, IBD and IBS, particularly my toilet visits, where was the loo etc., what would people think?
As part of Crohn’s and Colitis Awareness Week (1st – 7th December 2016) the charity Crohn’s and Colitis UK are offering a poster creation app, that lets you build your own poster about how Crohn’s or Colitis impacts you. So here is my poster about how Ulcerative Colitis impacts me and what helps me through.
After 2 to 3 years I had my first flare up of Ulcerative Colitis in January and February 2016. I think this was a result of being run down with the flu and being depressed.
To find out what was happening I had a few trips to the GP and an endoscopy and today a appointment with the Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) nurse clinic at Kettering General Hospital. This was a highly beneficial appointment as I found out a lot, that perhaps I should have been told when I was originally diagnosed in 2003.
I have had a renewed effort to tackle my anxiety. I have been to a few group depression and anxiety meetings at Rushden Mind. I enrolled on a self esteem course too at Mind; sadly there were not enough attendees, so the course is postponed to November. I am also fast approaching the top of the list for a therapist.
In the meantime I am reading a Self Help book: The Complete CBT Guide for Anxiety and read How Not to Worry by Caroline Carr. The key message I am taking from the books is that I am now in numerous habits of avoidance to minimalise my anxiety. But as this is preventing me from doing things I wish to do. I have started tackling the issues and reversing my habits.